Sunday, August 17, 2008

To My Public

Notes for our customers:

You know, I've been doing this a good while, if you can believe it. Working at this store. Working at stores like this one. Working with computers in general. I really have acquired a certain basic competence with the tools of my trade.

Please, please, please don't give me suggestions. If you're looking for some book on...I dunno, trout fishing, that you're pretty sure you saw this one time, well, gosh, I'll do my best. But please don't suggest to me that maybe if you looked under "trout..." What does that even mean? How do you look "under" something, anyway? You think we're using index cards or something here, don't you? You know what I'm doing is happening on a computer screen, you're not blind, but you assume what I'm working with must be something like the Public Library Card Catalog that you dimly remember from whatever town you grew up in in 1957. The only time in your life you did anything remotely like that. Well, things have advanced a bit. They have. We know what we're doing. Give me two lousy words, not including "the," and I'll find your stupid book. But stop looking over my shoulder.

No! I did not just mis-type the title you gave me! I did not leave a word out! This is a "keyword" search. This is what people do, who, you know, use the internet. We know which words to include. The interesting words, basically. Not "the." Or "John."

Look, honestly, you probably don't have the title right. I don't judge you for that. Why the hell should you remember the title of a book you haven't read yet, or even of one you have? But it's my job to figure out what actual title you probably heard, and I'm pretty good at that. Just let me do it.

1 comment:

david james keaton said...

okay, since i'm a civilian now, here's a view from the other side of the counter, the one thing i think the bookstore staff needs to know from my end. pleeeeease stop looking for my shit after, say, 30 seconds. drives me crazy when i see them check the title, ISBN, their website, amazon...then decide to get creative. it never works, but still they exhaust about 20 more palendromes of the title i just gave 'em and who knows what else. and i give them an easy out. i say, "it's cool, i'll check back or-" and they mutter, brows all furrowed, "Let..me...check..one...more...thing..."
Nooooooooooooo! i know they don't want to go back to making the books flush with the edge of the shelf 'n' all, but i can't in good conscience walk away while they're still clacking away for me. wrap it up, broseph! it's cool! it's probably an import, dude! cd ain't out here in the states yet, i can't accept that. or it's out of print? that's fine. you don't need to ease me into the bad news. just get in, get out, or let me on that computer instead yo! i got porn to sniff out in the art section